I studied over 200 children – 7 things parents of emotionally intelligent children do early
Raising a child in a world driven by fast pace and success is no easy task. While many parents focus on grades and extracurriculars, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
This not only helps children excel socially. It helps them grow into strong, compassionate and successful adults who can face challenges with confidence, foster meaningful relationships and lead fulfilling lives.
So, what do parents of emotionally intelligent children do differently? After years Studying more than 200 parent-child relationships — and from practicing healthy habits with my own child — I’ve uncovered seven powerful strategies these parents have already embraced.
1. You understand the power of silence
They give their child space to process their emotions and trust their inner voice. When their child is upset, they sit next to them and comfort them without words. Embracing silence helps children to better process and think about their feelings.
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2. They name feelings early and often (mostly their own).
By sharing feelings with words — like “I’m upset” or “I’m happy” — they teach their children emotional awareness and give them words to express their thoughts. This helped their children to see emotions as normal and share them openly instead of suppressing them.
3. They apologized to their son
They show their child that mistakes are a part of life and that taking responsibility is strength. Apologizing builds trust and shows respect, making their child feel valued. He also taught them how to model compassion and manage relationships.
4. Don’t force ‘please’, ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’.
This may sound unusual, but they knew that kindness and respect were not compulsory. Instead, they modeled these behaviors, trusting their child to learn by example. If their child forgets to thank them, the parent tells the parents, confident that the lesson will continue over time.
This takes a lot of bravery! But as a parenting coach, I have never told my 6-year-old to say please or thank you. Now he always talks himself – because he hears what I say.
5. You don’t get rid of small worries
They take their child’s anxiety, a lost toy, or a problem with a friend seriously. By validating their feelings, they show their child that feelings are important. This fostered self-esteem, emotional well-being and respect for their experiences.
6. They don’t always offer solutions
The best way to teach decision making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of fixing problems, ask, “What do you think we should do?” This helped boost critical thinking, self-confidence and self-efficacy.
7. Embrace boredom
They allowed their child to be bored, which helped them calm down. This builds creativity, self-control and problem-solving skills. Their child has learned to enjoy their own company and find joy in simple moments, like looking out the car window instead of looking at a screen.
How to develop your child’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behaviors you want to see: express your feelings openly, apologize when you’re wrong, and show kindness and compassion in your relationships.
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them space to process without rushing to fix or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Allow them to experience moments of calm or boredom to build creativity and self-control.
Above all, focus on building a relationship based on respect and trust – because emotional intelligence starts with being safe, respectful and understanding.
Rim Rauda She is a certified parenting coach, mom, and creator. BOUND – The first and only parent-child relationship magazine designed to promote emotional intelligence and self-esteem in children. She has transformed hundreds of families with her. Courses, Training and tools. Keep an eye on her. Instagram.
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