Children with high emotional intelligence use these 6 phrases: Therapist
A parent’s job is not to protect their child from life’s challenges, but to guide them—giving them the support and tools to thrive through difficult times.
As a Child life specialist and therapistI have worked with thousands of children and families through pain, trauma, grief and loss. I have observed the words and actions that show a child to effectively deal with life’s inevitable challenges.
It’s not about calming down or avoiding tears. It’s about using strategies and skills to manage, cope with, and reduce stress when it arises. That is why children cope well They have high emotional intelligence.. They are good at identifying their emotions and using positive strategies to manage their emotions.
Listen to these six things you might hear kids with high emotional intelligence say:
1. ‘It’s okay to be sad’
There may be children with high emotional intelligence. Trusted adults who taught them that it’s okay to cry and that all emotions are okay.
You know that it’s natural to feel sad, upset, or anxious in response to difficult situations. Likewise, they learn that it’s okay to find moments of joy, fun, or play even in difficult times.
2. ‘I need some space’
Children with healthy coping skills are able to recognize and manage their emotions. They know the warning signs—rapid thoughts, a fast heart rate, a tense muscle, or a knot in their stomach—and feel comfortable asking for what they want.
You can go to them.”To give themselves time and space to use their pre-programmed tools. For example, you might lift a pinwheel or blow bubbles to help them take deep breaths.
Their parents probably taught them these skills by looking for self-control and clear communication.
3. ‘Are you okay?’
Emotionally intelligent children can Recognize emotions in others. Both adults and children understand that difficult times can be very emotional and that everyone copes differently.
When their friend is upset, they may be the first to realize that they need space or a hug, and that they are okay.
It is natural for them to empathize with others and they show ease and comfort by listening to others’ points of view, respecting their needs and working together.
They realize that even if their parents are emotional, they can still be loved, cared for, and protected.
4. “I don’t like…”
Children who practiced They have high emotional intelligence, setting boundaries for how they want to be treated. You can communicate effectively When they are sensitive to the other person’s needs, wants and feelings.
They might say, “I don’t like it when you use my stuff without asking,” or “I don’t like it when I don’t know what to expect.” Or you may hear other statements that begin with:
- “I’m not fine…”
- “I don’t want to talk about it.”
- “But I don’t think it’s good/funny…”
They also consider respecting the needs of their peers and siblings.
5. ‘I made a mistake’
This phrase indicates that a child is self-reflective and free from shame. Instead of being afraid or admitting to making mistakes, you can talk about it and problem solve to improve the situation or situation.
They also realize what they could have done better or differently because they know how mistakes are made. Growing, learning and growing through challenges.
6. ‘I have an idea’
They feel confident in expressing their thoughts, ideas and behavior, while also listening and learning from others.
When children navigate obstacles and consequences in a safe environment, they can develop decision-making skills and flexibility, as well as develop emotional awareness and self-confidence.
It starts with you
If your kids aren’t saying these things yet, don’t worry. Emotional intelligence and coping skills take time to develop and often begin with parenting.
Just start by saying these things yourself. Children learn better if it is prepared for them.
Kelsey Mora He is a certified child life specialist and licensed clinical professional counselor who provides customized support, guidance and resources to parents, families and communities affected by medical conditions, trauma, grief and daily life stress. She is a private practice owner, mother of two, creator and author Method workbooksand Chief Clinical Officer of a non-profit organization Pickles team.
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